supervisor-agent relationship: fragile

We all have our ups and downs in this company, but we have our team and our immediate supervisor to draw strength from, like one would do for a family. This kind of relationship is needed especially in a call center since our team is considered to be our family and our world.

So far we have been enjoying a wonderful relationship with our supervisor, like a friend and brother we never had (or if we do, like we missed). But sometimes, we end up crossing the line between work and personal life.

That is what had just happened yesterday. All because of a misunderstanding. Thanks to an absent-minded teammate and a personal crisis on our coach's part, just exploded. He left us in the middle of the shift and spent the rest of it brooding, I guess. Before he left, he all sent us an IM saying what a bunch of ingrates we are and we have the nerve to talk behind his back.

I was at a loss. I racked my head on what I've done now but I can't think of any. I know I've done some things that made him upset (like remarking carelessly that I wanted to be in another team) but at that time I had no idea what he was referring to.

It feels bad that it had to change this horribly. I wonder if everything would be back the way it used to?

What am I thinking? Of course not!

Ako si M16

I only saw the video of this once in MYX and it stuck on my head.

"Ako si M-16"
by junior kilat

Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite
Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite
Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite
Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite

..:..
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!

Ang akong mga bala, hastang pwerting baratoha
Ayaw lang katingala, kung supplier di magpaila
Ang akong mga bala, hastang pwerting baratoha
Ayaw lang katingala, kung supplier di magpaila

Buy-one take-one kung walay gyera
Presyo times two kung election o kudeta
Buy-one take-one kung walay gyera
Presyo times two kung election o kudeta

..:..
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!

Kini si M203, kini sa M203
Ang bala kusgan, kini si M203
Kini si M203, kini sa M203
Ang bala kusgan, kini si M203

Grenade launcher, dugangi lang dyes mil
Grenade launcher, dugangi lang dyes mil
Grenade launcher, dugangi lang dyes mil
Grenade launcher, dugangi lang dyes mil

..:..
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!
Bratatatatatatatatatatatatat!
Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang bang Bang bang bang bang!

--Turntable Solo-
--Guitar Solo-

Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite
Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite
Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite
Ako si M16 at your service bai
aduna pud ko'y anak, si baby armalite

Ako si M16, Ako si M16, Ako si M16, M203, Ako si M16,
Ako si M16, Ako si M16, Ako si M16, M203, Ako si M16,
Ako si M16, Ako si M16, Ako si M16, M203, Ako si M16,
Ako si M16, Ako si M16, Ako si M16, M203, Ako si M16,

Bratatatatatatatatat

power of anger

I've always been told that I was born angry either by my relatives or my closest friends. I wonder if that is even true since I talk, act and move angrily. Maybe it is.

People think I am angry 24/7 but in reality, I'm not. Maybe I've been so mad for most of my whole life that it comes out naturally. My closest friends were already very much used to my mood swings and surges of rage but people who just met me are well, either scared or they go away or misunderstand me thinking that I'm mad at them, which most of the time I am not.

It is my habit to let out my anger since keeping them is painful, literally and figuratively. In my work, I am known as an irate agent, someone who gets really angry in the phone and has a tendency to pick a fight with a customer. In my former job, irate agents are the best ones. Even in my current job, even if I am an irate agent my perfomance is good if not great. My teammate remarked on that saying: "Irate na 'yan." When I've been consistently getting good scores.

For one thing this feeling has kept me strong for the past 8 years but it is getting tiring and I am not happy anymore. Not to mention that it is not fun to be alone because of snapping peoples' heads off.

I was promised by my coach here at work to be nicer on the phone since I always begin my day by yelling at the PC and cursing. In this case, maybe I'm tired of coming to work where you know that you're being made an ass of but still comes to work because you have to, not because you enjoy going to work.

I don't know what I would be like without my anger. When I think about it, I feel helpless and weak. But myabe I need to rely on my anger. It would kill me one day.

shit happens

Crab mentality is always there regardless of what culture you're on but this type of behavior is more prevalent in Filipinos and had it refined into a fine art.

This is defined as: if I can't have it, then you can't have it either. Since I'm so green with envy about your life, I'm going to make sure that you're going down...hard.

I think this is the reason why my new coach is going to quit his job. He is a good person and one of the most technologically-gifted people in the office. He never backs down from anything or anyone, maybe that's why he is perceived as arrogant. Maybe he is but if he has what it takes to be arrogant then he should be right?

He fights for his team and that is one thing I never saw with my previous supervisor. He is very strict but fair in his dealings with us. He's our dedicated PS, coach and friend. He's smart in a streetsmart kinda way and will shoulder our failures so that our career won't be affected. He's not that bad really, very blunt but at least he's being honest and does not talk bullshit.

But some people are scared of him and in Machievellian philosophy: when you fear, you hate. That's what happened in his case.

The bad thing is the entire team is involved in his problems. Management never hesitates to put anyone down regardless of who gets stepped on.

I hate for him to leave since he had done so much for us and it's scary if he does. Where do we go from here? Our team had been together since August of 2004 and that would be detroyed because the senior director and the PQA hates his guts.

Karma will come eventually but I wish they would just up and die. Then let them rot in hell.

getting to know me

01] First name: Maria
[02] Last name : Villacarlos
[03] Chinese name:huh?
[04] Nickname: Rei, Maria, Irate Agent, O Sarcastic One
[05] Gender: F
[06] Age: 25
[07] Birthday: 16th of feb
[08] Height: 5"6
[09] Hair color: Black
[10] Eye color: Brown
[11] Race: Asian
[12] Do you wear glasses/contacts: glasses
[13] Do you have braces: no
[14] Is your hair long or short: long
[15] Where were you born: Baguio City
[16] Current location: office
[17] Zodiac sign: Aquarius
[18] How many languages do u know: 2
[19] Nationality: Filipina
[20] Bad Habits: eating, losing temper as regularly as eating
[21] Piercings you have: 2 in one ear (by accident) and one on the other
[22] Piercings you want: none
[23] Tattoos you have: wala
[24] Tattoos you want: if ever? shoulder
[25] Today's date: 27th of April 2005
[26] The time: 8:31 pm

---SCHOOL LIFE---
[43] Are you still in school: nope
[44] Did you drop out: nope bait ko masyado
[45] Currently in: office
[46] Favorite grade: 85
[47] Least fav grade: 73
[48] Favorite teachers: Professor Praxedes Rosuman
[49] Least fav teacher: a lot especially the ones who blackmail you
[50] Favorite subjects: World History, Evolution, Genetics
[52] Do you buy lunch or bring it: both
[53] Play any sports on the school's team: nope
[54] Do you do any co-curricular activitiy: no
[55] Are you popular: in a good way or a bad way? neither
[56] Favourite dance: boogie
[57] Least fav dance:swing
[58] Favorite memories: anything regarding friends and family
[59] Least fav memories: ones that you'd rather forget
[60] Most humiliating moment: pag natatpilok sa kalye

--FAVOURITES--
[61] Number: 7
[63] Shoes: rubber shoes and sandals
[64] Phrases: Anak ng kalungkutan..
[65] TV shows: CSI: New York, Miami and the original CSI
[66] Sports: BAsketball thanks to slam dunk
[70] Magazine: Cosmopolitan Philippines
[71] Actor: Liam Neeson, Allan Rickman, Hayden Christensen
[72] Actress: Jodie Foster,
[73] Candy: bazooka bubblegum, XO Caramel
[74] Gum:juicy fruit
[75] Scent:fruity scents
[76] Choc Bar: Hershey's Cookies and cream
[77] Ice cream flavour: Ube
[79] Seasons:dry seson pag december na
[80] Holiday: New Year
[81] Brands: hand me downs hehehehe
[85] Types of music: vaires but mostly R&B
[86] Things in your room: radio, bed and table
[88] Radio station:Big FM (Baguio_
[89] TV channel:AXN, History Channel
[90] Food: pasta
[92] Store: depends
[94] Fast food: Chowking
[95] Restaurants: Teriyaki Boy!
[97] Songs: changes every mood
[98] Instrument:piano
[99] Person you love: real one or the illusion?
[100]What do you wanna say most now: I WANT A VACATION!!

inexplicable mood

I am in a very bad mood right now, torn between lashing out and crying. It began this morning when I am saying a term that I don't know. It's stupid, but well...so I'm very pissed off right now to the extent that I am thinking of requesting to be moved to another team.

Of course that is silly of me not to mention shallow but I already felt this way for quite someitme. They're good people I know but not the type of crowd I'm used to. I can ride along with the racy jokes and biting remarks but people have tolerance level and sometimes that runs out.

I'm too different, I felt that and I guess so do they. They call me morbid when I'm being sarcastic. I'm in an environment that has a black sense of humor? My sister has an even darker sense of humor (due to the risks involved in her job) and my father has the darkest even to the point of making jokes about my sister who was in the hospital due to malaria. But he meant well, he was trying his best to lighten things up because even he too was worried but did not want to join the bunch.

I have an ego the size of Asia, ok maybe that is not even the appropriate term but I am a very proud person. And I hate being made a fool out of.

One of these days I might ask to be moved to another team. But now is not the time. I've been in this team too long to give that up, they're the only people I know and even if I do move to another team that consists of the ones I am closed with, there would be changes. I learned the hard way that you can't go back to the way it used to be with the people you know and loved.

50-50

I was torn in two places on what I should choose: a new opportunity or a stable but painful situation. I did took that chance but I was left confused. I was asked if I can wait, I said yes. But when I left, I was mad at myself.

Maybe I did need to wait. Who knows? A lot can happen in three months.

contemplations of a woman torn

For the past weeks I have been thinking a lot and it involves my job most of the time. Mainly because I suddenly became lazy and demoralized or would demotivated be a better term? An opportunity presents itself and I took advantage of it. But that opportunity also involves risk of losing it. Then again, everything we do always involves risk.

Now I am almost there, but I need to think hard on this chance. Real hard.

Pope John Paul II (1920-2005)

I know this is not the usual my-workplace-sucks blog but I wanted to write something about the late Pope.

I don't know what to say. I mean I'm no CNN commentator or a New York Times journalist, just an ordinary adult Catholic. I saw him in the tv when I was 15. He visited the Philippines for the second time during World Youth Day. It was overwhelming to see him on TV how much more if in person?

I was sad and got caught in the hype when he was dying. He was already sick with Parkinson's disease and he is too weak to even sit up in the Easter Mass. We agreed at home that it was about time that he died because he's too sick. But I admire his fighting spirit as he was dying. He didn't want to go back to the hospital. Maybe he knew that his time has come.

I keep tabs with CNN and BBC World (local networks just suck big time) and when he did die, it was a shock and at the same time it isn't. He's too old and Parkinson's Disease aggravated him further, it's time to go. But it hurts. After all, he is the leader of the Catholic church (all 1 billion of 'em) and has guided us Catholics for the past 26 years of his life.

He is a champion of the poor and the oppressed, granted his views on birth control, abortion, communism, celibacy, women priests and homosexuality is debatable he still managed to unite all peoples of all religions (and all walks of life) in this planet of ours. I mean he is the first pope to visit a mosque, a synagogue and forgave his assassin. Unless all of these are just for a show. If that's the case then he's been playing this charade for 26 years, which I doubt.

Next to Mother Teresa, or rather St. Mother Teresa, the late pope is one of our role models. He is young and energetic and the charisma he possessed is irreplacable. It's going to be tough for the next pope to continue what Karol Wotyla has started. Good luck to him.

But let's also hope that the next pope would be not too traditional. The world is changing and so should the church.

Lenten Season: time to reflect

Sure I have to work during the first three days during the holy week but luckily for me, my day-off was on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. My sister and I went to Baguio Cathedral not becuase we want to see the President of the Republic of the Philippines but to go to confession. It is the only church that caters to confession at night. Our parish church does not have confessions on Holy Thursdays.

My sister went there and there was no priest. So we decided to eat dinner at a fast food and stroll a little. When we got back to the church we saw a long line in the confessional booth. The bad thing is, there was only one priest! Anyway, to kill time, my sister and I exchanged stories about which one of us has a morbid sense of humor and about Religion. I'm sure the man behind us was annoyed for us being so noisy in church but was too polite to say so or he just ignored us.

I was able to confess but not my sister and she was so annoyed.

Good Friday was ok. I nearly fell asleep during the seven last words and I have to scracth myself to be awake. But before that we had stations of the cross my mind was thinking of what I have become and where I should be going and what goals to reach. For the past years I never made a definite goal or plans in my life because I never realize them. I planned to be a doctor but ended up in tech support. I planned to be a coach, I wasn't promoted.

But now I guess it's time to start setting goals huh? No wonder I never get anywhere.

Goals in life:

1. Get a job- done that
2. Get promoted- almost there but not quite
3. Get laid- not yet there, but wish was there
4. Get married and have kids- not yet found a man foolish enough to marry me
5. Die- obviously not yet since I'm still alive

Ok, ok, don't take those seriously since I was being sarcastic (again) about my plans in life. I'm still formulating my plans and goals in life along the way.

new coach...awkward situation...resolved

Recently, our old coach was transferred to another department called ABAY (no, not Ebay we're not a shopping site), which is an area where the newly-deployed trainees would be given a certain time period to adjust on the floor. You know to be ready if they get an idiotic customer or an extremely irate one, which made most of the not-so experienced agents cry or contemplate on resigning. So we got a new coach who had been through with so much hell, I wonder why he hasn't died yet.

Anyway, the new coach is ok and very technical. He is a nice guy (even took us out at Nevada Square for a drink after work) and easygoing, not to mentio giving basta 'wag lang abusuhin. Good right?

NOT! During the time at Nevada Square he told us the reason why he didn't want to be deployed in our team. The first reason would be confidential but the second one I don't mind exposing it. After all, this has something to do with me. It is because his ex-girlfriend is one of my friends since high school. So, it is understandable why this is awkward for both me and the new coach.

His ex might think that having me and him in the same office gives her the privelege to use me as their watchdog. No way! I am not a third party software or router that would connect two people who are obviously NOT meant for each other, whose union could mean disaster.

I told my friend to dump him since he's just screwing around but she refuses to do so. I called her martyr and stupid but she still refuses to leave him.

Stupidity or true love?

Anyway, I spoke to him last night and had a talk about that issue and luckily for us, we manage to fix it. He also felt the same way as I did and hated being hounded. After our talk, he instantly spoke to my friend since he came back a few seconds later, he told me that she was sorry.

Good.

Now I can be his subordinate without feeling awkward.

symptoms of falling in-love

For once I am not going to write something bad about the office. It gets boring eventually, making me look like a whiner or sounding like one.

Anyway, just like the rest of the Homo sapien I have feelings even if I try my best to deny that. Well, bursts of temper would count as emotions right? But falling in-love? I'm not sure if I feel that. Except lately.

I thought I experienced that feeling since I first met one of my friend's brothers during my freshman year, but it was just a long-term infatuation. I thought I fell for one of my classmates during my senior year in college yet I backed out since he is taken. We became friends though, which is much better.

Now here I am in my mid-20's, battling not to become obese but got past caring about it and feeling something but not sure if that is love or not. I met him from the moment I stepped into the office. The funny thing is, he was he one who introduced himself first and me, the ever charmless woman, just showed him my name tag since people have a tendency to pronounce my name wrong no matter how I try to corretc them (actually I don't bother).

We kinda hit it off and ended up being the husband and wife of a skit we had to present then. Of course I had to tell myself to stop dreaming and get real.

After that first meeting, we get to meet frequently since we are in the same office though not the same classroom. He is a charming, friendly and reliable man even quiet at times but he is so sweet, which is what is so attractive about him. One flaw I noticed is that he has a tendency to leave people when he sees someone he knows or maybe that's just me. At least he is not an asshole, thank goodness.

He is a handsome and tall man, which is great since I am a tall woman myself. Anyway, being called darling and sweetheart by this man has a way of letting my mind work on its own. In Filipino nadadala ako sa emosyon ko. It took so much self-control not to let my feelings get the better of me.

My feelings are on and off when it comes to him since I rarely see him around. We have different schedules and if we do see each other, it was brief. He always passes by our team's stations and just a hi from him is fine.

But first and foremost we are friends. I gave him a CD of Seal for his birthday and got a hug from him. He asked for when my birthday is and after telling him the date, he said he will keep it in mind. Well, my birthday's over and it's already March. But I don't want to be pushy.

Even if I told Ice that I love him, I'm not sure if I DO love him. Gets? Maybe I should acknowledge it. I am a 'fraidy cat when it comes to love even if I am an irate agent extraordiniare.

But with everything else...I leave it to God.

resignation

Joy just quit this morning. I should feel bad but me, along with the rest of the team (minus coach) were envious that she left ClientLogic. Good job, for her! Even if she is unemployed at least she is free.

Karen, one of our teammates, suggested to write one resgination letter and we sign all of our names on it. I remarked that it would be like signing for a petition. Imagine if one whole team decided to resign and abandon their coach. I find the idea hilarious, but wouldn't it be fun?

I wanted to quit but decided to stay after all, money is money despite the fact that I felt worse than a factory worker. At least they have a rest day.

post birthday

I just recently turned 25 during wednesday this week. I invited my teammates over at my house and it was fun. Of course since my teammates know what FUN is.

To mark off my 25th year in this lifetime, I had my hair cut since it is getting hot (summer na kaya), very dificult in drying my hair and I am getting tired of my long hair. Hopefully, this would be a new start for me.

I applied for coach and QA. My interview for the coaching position was finished (it was so sudden) and when I came out of the Senior Director's room I wanted to scream. I knew I screwed up big time and I am not expecting to ever become a coach because of that. I hated my answers and I wonder if the Senior Director and Operations manager found me very amusing.

As for the QA position, I plan to take the upcoming interview seriously.

Wish me luck!

Valentine's Day

By monday people all over the world would celebrate Valentine's Day. A day where we celebrate love. Or for me, a reminder on how alone I am.

FUNG in short...fun group

I am along with Ruby (a teammate of mine) are one of the members of a fun group in the office. A fun committee was made to liven things up in the center. I wonder if we even deserve to be in that group. Ruby is a quiet woman while I am too serious for words and always angry.

Russel is the coach in that team and this gay fella is one fun guy. Not to mention that he is wacky. But the problem is how to generate fun in the center when most people had already given up that concept? Most of my teammates were bitter and disillusioned about what is happening to them or to all of us. I don't blame 'em. I feel the same way as they do.

I was never involved in anything except my job and my writing. But committees? Forget it. But now I am. And for a serious person like I am this is a challenge for me.

Hope to have fun!

promotion

Just for kicks I decided to apply as a coach in training. I'm almost 7 months in the company (yay) and I thought to myself why not I mean it wouldn't hurt to try right? Besides I have my previous call center job as part of my qualification.

I already submitted my resume and internal job application form along with my coach's recommendation letter. Aside from me there were 4 more of my teammates who applied for the same position though the 4th one also planned to apply for a trainer.

Office politics is so hard to overcome (especially if sex is involved) and I wonder if I would be promoted without going through this bullshit. Oh well who knew?

But as they say in Japanese: gambatte yo!

HONESTY RULES!

For once I am going to write something positive about my life.

I lost my passbook as I was on my way to the bank. I was panicking and crying because my life's savings are in that passbook and I needed to withdraw a certain amount of money because I had to go to my OB-Gyne for a follow-up check-up and I might spend some mooney not only for the consultation fee, but also for the ultrasound (P550.00 at AMDC) and in case the same problem came up, medications. My cat Sparky, aproached me and stayed by my side but before you say how sweet he is, he left since he knows that he won't get any attention from a crying human female.

When my parents arrived, I told them what happened. I called the bank (at their suggestion) and told them to close the account and create a new one. So I rushed to the bank and had my passbook replaced with a new one. I went to the doctor and was informed by the receptionist that the doctor would arrive later in the afternoon and so would the sonologist (which arrived at 2:30p.m.). So I went home again.

As I was waiting for a jeepney or a taxi to arrive, a man in a blue jacket and jeans approached me. He is thin and has a moustache. He asked me if I was the one who has a bank passbook missing. I said yes and it turns out that he was the one who found the passbook. Good thing I asked the storekeeper at one of stores on the road (because the owner knows our family). The owner must have known this man so he told him that the passbook was mine. I ran back and claimed the passbook. The man said that even if there is money he would still return it. I am grateful but skeptical at what he said. But I thanked him for finding my passbook, though it won't be used since I already replaced it.

So there, honesty is the best policy and I got good karma.

certificates

I recevied three certificates of acheivement just this recently. It shows that I am doing a great job in the company. Hell, I even shook hands with one of the top officers from the acocunt itself. He is a handsome man and an American (what doy ou expect?). He sure draws a lot of attention from the ladies and gays (except me). But I got to admit, his hands are soft.

I just wish that I could eat those certificates or convert that to money. Though I did receive some money from him, but you'd think P800.00 cash pirze for having three 100% surveys would be enough. Some get 5 and got almost a P1,000.00 or more. Maybe I should work harder.

My seatmate, Imee, reeived a CSAT Idol certificate (I got two of these myself) and said that it is an insult to get one. Sarcastically speaking you get an indirect message saying: "Good job, girl, thank you for sacrificing your time, health, family and sanity." Which is what I have been doing for the past six months. Let's enumerate the sicknesses I had: asthma, hyperacidity (kasi nalilipasan ng gutom), eardrum infection, vertigo, migraine, sinusitis, allergies...though I had some of these sicknesses before I began working I didn't expect these to be occuring that frequently. Now my pillbox (not the bomb) is filled with painkillers (choose ibuprofen or mefenamic acid), chewable antacids (peppermint flavor) and vitamin C tablets from my brother in the US which smells like Tang orange juice.

How much more if I am married with kids? I don't want my son or daughter clinging to my leg when I tried to leave the house or telling me not to go to work, though that would be sweet of the kid. But either single or married, it is difficult to work in a call center.

Certificate of Achievement...I need more than that. Maybe a vacation?

down, down, down

I thought no one would notice. But Jibbs did and I really appreciate it. When all of your closest friends are in Manila and you're not sure if you get along with your teammates, it's not easy to confide to someone esepcially with someone like me who is constantly wary of people.

So anyway, Jibbs and I were eating lunch or breakfast and we were discussing the open forum with the team. Then she said that I look like someone who has the world on my shoulders. Even when I am being my usual irate agent I didn't look so miserable.

I told her some of my problems and she said that I would have to attend the open forum. I could do that except my stomach's rebelling against me and I am not sure. I wanted to quit but somethig is holding me back. Aside from regrets, I also have to think of my family. My tax code says Single but Head of the Family and I plan to become one (but in reality my sister IS the head of the family hahahaha).

If a job is making one miserable or if it's killing you, leave. This is an advice I got from both my mother and my cousin. I am already miserable (and angry) but I still stay.

Who knows?